amp ceo
amp ceo

I Chose My Own Engagement Ring, And It Was The Best Decision Ever

The author with her fiancé, wearing the ring they chose together.

The author with her fiancé, wearing the ring they chose together.

The other day I was in an elevator and a woman pointed at my hand. “That’s a beautiful engagement ring,” she said.

“Thanks,” I replied. “I picked it.”

She smiled and said, “Good for you,” just as the doors opened and she exited the lift.

When I say I chose my ring, I don’t mean that I sent preferences to my sister, who relayed them to my boyfriend, who did his best to find something that fit my style. My boyfriend and I went to a store together and chose something we both liked, which he purchased and kept for a few weeks until he officially proposed.

I imagined that telling people I chose my own engagement ring would go something like the encounter with the stranger in the elevator. I thought everyone would respond with a similar positivity. Many of them did. But peppered in was a different sort of response: looks of ”Oh, that’s interesting” and a quick change of subject. I never experienced outright criticism; it was more a feeling that the person was a bit taken aback, and not in the best way.

I never acknowledged these reactions, not wanting to bring any negativity into my post-engagement love bubble. But months later, after things settled down, those responses stayed with me, less because they bothered me and more because I couldn’t understand them. Were they judging me? And why?

For my then-boyfriend and I, selecting a ring together just made sense. We’d been in a relationship for nearly seven years and living together for four, so there wasn’t a ton of surprise in the fact that we were headed toward marriage.

Then, take into account our personalities. I’m picky and can be very opinionated.

Read the rest